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relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road


bust ya nut and off ya strut

bellecosby:

I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store. 

(via ifimayquip)

fistmypowerfulass:


dontactlikewewerenothing:

THEYRE STILL FRIENDS

well its not like they’ve had careers to focus on

revrealness:

clumsyoctopus:

my ad for beauty products

girls putting makeup on like warpaint and kicking people in the face

old ladies wearing eyeshadow and getting flocked by hunks who carry them away and crown them queens of their own country

girls putting on makeup and then just sitting and eating doritos in front of the computer all day because fuck it that shits for you

ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN PLINKY-PLONKY MUSIC AND EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AND BEING CONDESCENDED TO

you’re hired

(Source: smalldisgruntledcorgi, via heckin-rad)

doglets:

This shampoo was supposed to give my hair volume but I really can’t hear anything

(via heckin-rad)

tacoposey:

laurynsworld:

tacoposey:

on a scale of one to ten how ashamed do you think tumblr is to have the same logo font as toddlers and tiaras 

image

jesus christ

did u think i was lying

(via heckin-rad)